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A Shakespearean Classic Tale About a Tailess Cat Named Doug and Lady Juju

By Tom Seest

The Tale Of Sir Doug the Kitty with No Tail

A Tale of Sir Doug, the Kitty, with no Tail
Table Of Contents

Act I:

Once upon a verily ancient time, a kitten named Doug didst make his dwelling with Lady JuJu, the solitary mistress of the grand castle near the fair city of Birmingham. Doug, a creature of remarkable peculiarity, possessed not the tail common amongst his kin. His hindquarters, garbed in stripes like the exotic tapir, were hoisted high by legs of unusual length.

Scene I:

In Lady JuJu’s parlor, Doug, agile and swift, doth perch upon the windowsill, eyes keenly surveying the bustling streets of Birmingham.

DOUG: (soliloquy)

“Methinks the city, with its maze of men and manners, holds more perils than the wildest forest. But fear not, dear Lady, for I, Doug, shall keep thee safe from the vipers of deceit.”

A Tale of Sir Doug, the Kitty, with no Tail

Act II:

Scene I:

Lady JuJu, anxious, enters, clutching a parchment – a claim from her insurance, fraught with inconsistencies.


“Doug, mine trusted guardian, what sayest thou of this matter? Verily, it reeks of falsehood.”

DOUG: (examining the document)

“Indeed, mine lady, it smacks of fraud. I shall ferret out the truth.”

A Tale of Sir Doug, the Kitty, with no Tail

Act III:

Doug embarks upon a quest, from Birmingham’s bustling marketplaces to the hushed halls of the city’s insurers, investigating the fraudulent claim.

Scene II:

Within the offices of the insurer, Doug confronts the scheming Sir Slick, the alleged claimant.

DOUG: (accusingly)

“Sir Slick, thou art a knave. Thou has’t deceived Lady JuJu, but thou canst not beguile me!”

SIR SLICK: (defensively)

“Tis slander, kitten! I swear by mine honour!”

DOUG: (firmly)

“False honour befits a false claim, Sir. I have proof of thy deceit.”

A Tale of Sir Doug, the Kitty, with no Tail

Act IV:

Scene I:

Back in the castle, Doug reveals the truth, providing irrefutable proof of Sir Slick’s fraudulence. Lady JuJu is relieved and immensely grateful.

LADY JUJU: (gratefully)

“Thou art mine true saviour, Doug. Thou hast protected mine interest, mine honour, and mine heart.”

DOUG: (humbly)

“Tis but mine duty, mine Lady. I am thine ever faithful sentinel.”
They lived henceforth in peace and harmony, the fraudsters of Birmingham ever wary of crossing paths with the valiant kitten named Doug. His tale, etched in the annals of the city, serves as a reminder: one need not be large or fearsome to guard what is dear, but merely vigilant, determined, and true of heart.


A Tale of Sir Doug, the Kitty, with no Tail